I’ll be off for a while. Be back in some indefinite number of weeks. Have a great week.
My intuition is always right. I’m only ever too cowardly to work accordingly.
Too often, I’ve regretted not mustering the courage to take the intuitive path.
And too often, I’ve been hurt by my cowardly decisions.
— Salihat, my adorable 6 year old niece (via damola)
I watched this video earlier today. It inspired me in various ways. Mostly I found myself thinking about distances and spaces between as a kind of metaphor for dreams and challenges. You see the way he uses his environment to help him move between spaces. Not necessarily taking what may look like the easiest route across the space. What seems impossible looks possible with his movements. Because he chooses to keep moving and to be open to all forms of movement.
The imagination and control expressed by the mind and body in parkour is admirable. I am overwhelmed by the feeling that I lack control and imagination in matters of my life. Or rather that I have failed to realise the potential for the two in my life. I perceive every challenge or space as impossible to cross because in my mind there is only one solution. And I tell myself that I do not have the power, time or funds to invest in that solution. And then I become saddened by the fact that I can never overcome that particular challenge.
It’s funny because in so many different ways, we are told that we have control over the happenings in our lives beyond what we imagine. We are told that we have the power to achieve what we want. But the lack of belief in one’s imagination or control hinders the possibility of success. Even from experience I should have realised just how much control I have within myself. Personally, I find that real deadlines make things possible. I spend weeks trying to get through lecture notes, past questions etc. for exam preparation with little success. At about 10pm, I decide I’m bored and sleepy and I go to bed. 24 hours to the scheduled exam time, things change. My brain awakens, and I find I can stay awake overnight. The control that I have over my body under such conditions is unmitigated.
It is very simple really. To believe in myself, the breadth and depth of my imagination and the control that I have over mind and body; it is to achieve the things that are otherwise called impossible.
An inspirational video called American Dream; about creativity, fear and doing what you love by Ian Ruhter. This one speaks to me on so many levels; get out there and pursue your dream, I have a fear, don’t let the fear hold you back, do what you love, have faith and believe, etc. There is so…
This morning, as my friend drove me into campus, I watched as a cyclist nearly lost his life. The driver of the waste and recycling truck had been turning right on the roundabout before deciding he was taking the wrong turn. I guess the cyclist imagined he’ll scrape past the back of the truck unknowing to him that the truck would reverse. I barely made it. I gasped as the image flashed before me in gratitude and horror of what might have happened. And then I drifted off wondering how many near misses happened on the streets of London, New York, Vancouver…. Lagos. You see what I saw on the streets of Lagos back then, I hear it’s not much different even now. Like mad men… apes hustling for space. People getting scraped by the so called reckless okada riders. I recall the memory of the fluids of one such rider flowing down the road in Abuja when I was younger. Before the got banned. We had seen it from the other side of the road.
My thoughts drifted again wondering how we could as a species all possess this common feeling of urgency. It seems everyone is in a rush for… what? I think about London underground and those warm summer mornings heading to Holborn. How even at 5.50am, knowing I would be the first to get to work for the 6am shift; I still felt the need to walk fast, mimicking the pace of the other early risers who had whatever reasons to hurry. I must have missed out on a fair bit. Grazing past life with little acknowledgement of the rest of the world.
IF! the truck driver had hit the cyclist, everything that they had been hurrying for would have been put on hold. Priorities automatically shift for everyone in immediate vicinity including me and friend. I have a very creative image of what could have happened regardless that I haven’t seen such beyond the box of a TV or Laptop screen.
I’m learning to exercise this thing they call patience. It makes me step back to re-think many things. So when I stress over the wrong things, or feel the need to run through a crowd for the train about to leave; I remind me that there will be another one in half an hour. That I’d rather walk calmly and sit on the bench reading a book whilst waiting. Many a times it pays off.
Have a great week.
It was a Monday a few weeks or so ago, at the start of the day. I was planning what to wear for the weekend with the girls. You see, I’ve always believed that I would spend (financially) reasonably no matter the circumstance of my financial life. I’ve believed that no matter my situation, I would not get swayed into the dark side where one spends £3000 on a handbag… simply because I cannot imagine losing that amount of my earning on a single item. Someone once told me I had the mind of a poor person. May be she’s right.
However, as my knowledge and hence passion for the fashion industry grows with great interest in design houses like Elie Saab, Balmain, walking through London streets and getting lost and lust in the beauty of wonderfully and carefully created clothes that tell the story of class, quality, elegance and style from all distances. My hunger for the creation and wearing of luxury clothes is only becoming deeper. I relish the thoughts of the days when I will afford to have what I want.
You see, I love my perception of the industry. I love fashion. I want to wear leather shift dresses that have structure in the shoulder with shoe boots that have a slight masculinity but the heels give away the femme. The elegant coats that would go over the heavily beaded dresses that I will wear to winter dinners in the West End. I’ve begun to wonder if these dreams would become my reality or would I feel satisfied with the simplicity of Zara and FCUK. Lest I forget, trouser suits and silk blouses; lace dresses that would be custom made might be very costly too. I have to be involved in the search for the perfect fabrics, for collections that would tell stories and create illusions. Whatever illusion the audience needs to perceive.
High street fashion is not satisfactory to this hunger any longer. I cannot shop because I don’t like what I see in the shops that can accept my card. Once upon a time, Topshop was my favourite. It satisfied every thirst, lust and hunger that my wardrobe felt. Now I search shopping malls for one dress or even a skirt to a simple dinner with the girls, and I find nothing. Nothing. I wasted 90 minutes of my life, rummaging through racks and rack of clothes and stores with multiple floors for ladies wear. Disappointment and a feeling of sadness consume me. I sit in Nandos pondering upon life, my ambitions, hopes and dreams. It’s funny how life changes us. Every decision shapes us.
Dear Lord, help me to stay sane with my finances.
I enjoyed reading this piece so much. I could identify with the writer and I hope you do too. Love is such a powerful thing, much deeper than we realise when it’s right in front of us. Much harder to express to the subject of the love than to write about love itself. Please read -
“Life, looks and lust,
the prominent synonyms of transiency.
Love, a natural, infinite substance;
A continuous flowing river of overwhelming emotions
Upon which logs of happiness float across,
Twigs of trust unite to form pockets of resistance,
Minute pebbles skip beats and form ripples
and deep-rooted rocks of passion and protection mark their territory.
Love, a chemical that leaves one blessed, makes one stressed and subjects one to vulnerability.
Like a baby, naked I lay in the arms of this soft cloud, love.
Love, an everlasting friend you’ll forever love.
Intransient in nature, kind as can be yet it permanently scars me.
In unfavorable times love converts to cyanide
Ripping away from a newborn its innocence, trust and pride.
What covers a newborn but its bare skin?
It chokes, harms and kills some.
It poisons with its deceptively sweet aroma and its mirage of acceptance and warmth
Only to submit one to naked madness.
At the same time it caresses, romances then heals others
And one way or the other it makes you fall in love again.
It allows you to ignore the scars it gave you.
Makes you forgive, forget and live again, breathe again.
It allows you to subject yourself to vulnerability and it wins again and that is okay.
Once again its presence elevates me
but even in its absence my heart still jubilates at the thought of being in love.
Love, a permanent friend that’s at times seen as a foe but is always a friend
‘cause even in the hours of rejection love permits me to love and move on.
It is sweet then bitter then bittersweet then finally sweet, if only you would dare to try again.”
- by Esosa
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